By Julie Dockery
November 2024
I'm from the South, a native Texan. If you ever venture down south, you will discover a land where bbq is king and College football reigns supreme. You will also encounter another age-old tradition: southern hospitality. We southerners – (once a Texan, always a Texan) – like to present a warm welcome. We enjoy hosting dinner parties where you're invited into a freshly cleaned home and a perfectly manicured tablescape, all to extend one of the most highly esteemed virtues of the South…feeding you. Our hope is that you will leave the house with a full belly and a desire to invite us to your home where you can present your finest Williams Sonoma tablecloth, accompanied by coordinating chargers and freshly cut flowers. Don't get me wrong, I love a beautiful table and I love a good meal even more. But as I've started to think about the real, biblical, meaning of hospitality, my Southern experience with hospitality left a lot on the table.
Over the summer, the North Star leadership team spent some time working to identify the school's core values. We started by making a list of things that we treasured about North Star, and adding other things which our community loved about it as well. I had just finished reading the book Unreasonable Hospitality, where the magical experiences of hospitality in a restaurant setting had my imagination humming. Reading Guidara's book reignited my appreciation for the power of making an outsider feel at home. This combined with my southern roots of hospitality and now I was asking: does the Bible offer a vision for hospitality that we could embody at North Star?
The best understanding of hospitality comes from the Greek word philoxenia which literally means 'love the stranger.' Hospitality, in its etymology and in the Biblical context, is more than a presentation of good food and an inviting space; it is an act of love where strangers become friends and foreigners become fellow citizens. When we humans extend hospitality, we reflect God's invitation to us. The Bible is clear about who people are in relation to God. We are strangers and enemies of a holy God, kept distant by our sin. We're separated, alienated from God and from His people. But in God's deep love for us, He extends the most beautiful picture of hospitality by offering us salvation from our sins, and inclusion in His Kingdom. Our invitation to fellowship isn't given on monogrammed stationary, but extended through the blood of Christ. In Him, those who are strangers can now come in as guests, those who do not have a seat at the table, can now pull up a chair. Hospitality means that we are loved and received into the family of God. We are then commanded to turn and offer hospitality to one another (Romans 12:13).
The Biblical picture of hospitality inspires us to wonder: what does it look like to extend hospitality to the students, faculty and families at North Star? How can they feel known, loved and cared for in ways that point them to a God that knows, loves and cares for them? And how will this change how they go out and interact with the world?
In Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation, he outlines some startling statistics about the rise of depression and anxiety in teens in America. On average, there has been a 153% increase of depression in teens (ages 12-17) since 2010 and a 134% increase in anxiety. It's not surprising that these numbers directly correlate to a rise in self-harm and suicide by, on average, 118% and 129%, respectively (in teens ages 10-14). Haidt's picture of adolescent mental health is bleak and worrisome. Could biblical hospitality offer an anecdote to this anxious and lonely generation? At North Star, we think so.
Every morning I stand at the front door of the school to greet each of the students as they enter the building. This is one of my favorite parts of the job. These short interactions give me a glimpse as to how each student is coming into their day. Sometimes it's obvious that a student has already had a rough morning. I might pull them aside for a check-in or pass along to their teacher some extra attention might be needed. Last week, one of our kindergarten students was having an especially hard time, feeling anxious to come in. At about the same time, one of our freshmen students walked up, she instantly put her arm around this younger student and walked her all the way to class, comforting her as they went. This small act said, 'I see you,' and 'I care about you.' This is the same message that God gives us, we are welcomed in, known and cared for.
At North Star, hospitality is a core value, because we believe that, "biblical hospitality creates portals of belonging so the kingdom of God can be extended into the world." (Jon Tyson). When North Star students experience true belonging and radical hospitality, they'll launch from our doors into the world as agents of God's love, regularly extending the hospitality they have experienced to others.
I am headed south for Thanksgiving, and I know I will be met with the glory and warmth of some good ol' Southern hospitality. But as I pull my chair up to a perfectly set table and a beyond delicious meal, I will remember that hospitality isn't just what takes place at a really great dinner gathering. I will remember that the Thanksgiving dinner table is just a shadow of the deeper meaning of hospitality: we, the sinning strangers, are invited into God's table of abundance through the Gospel of His Son. For North Star students to flourish in the midst of an anxious generation, we will need to follow His example by welcoming outsiders, loving strangers and receiving everyone with the hospitality that has been extended to us.
©Julie Dockery | This article was first published in North Star November Newsletter Edition, November 2024.